Whenever You Remember
by loveadubdub
Summary: Three classes together, and she talks to much in every single one of them. Rachel's basically oblivious to other people's opinions about her, and even if she takes a second and recognizes them, she still doesn't care or whatever. She just keeps talking.
1. Chapter 1

**WHENEVER YOU REMEMBER**

**Part I**

…

Football sucks.

Yeah, he's probably not supposed to say that, but whatever. Not like the _watching _of football because he can watch the shit out of it, but playing it? Yeah, he's kind of over it. He's been playing since he was in like seventh grade, and he's just sick of it. It's never been his favorite thing, but it's always just kind of been... well, _his thing._

He's not sure why, though. It's not like he's some prodigy or something. He's alright, sure, but it's not like he's up against a bunch of world class talent or anything. It's Lima. And _McKinley _on top of that. They don't like suck ass anymore, yeah, but they're still not _good. _So being one of the top athletes there isn't like some huge accomplishment.

Plus, he just doesn't really _like _it.

Seriously, it's five-hundred and seventy-nine fucking degrees outside, and he's out here in full pads running drills. He's been out here for like four hours already, and seriously, if he doesn't get a break soon, he's going to pass the fuck out or die or something. If he died, his mom would probably get like a shit ton of money, but she'd probably be pretty upset, too, at least for a little while. And he's kind of caused her enough grief over the past few years, so yeah, he'll try to ward off the dying thing.

But _fuck. _

He's not the only one dying of a heat stroke out here, and even though Coach Beiste is awesome, she's also maybe, you know, _Satan. _Or at least she sure as hell seems like it right now. Actually, this _feels _like hell. If, you know, he believed in that shit or whatever. Which he doesn't. Because, you know, Jew.

Whatever.

…

Lauren calls him a pussy when she hears him bitching about killer football practices before glee one day.

They broke up two months ago, but they're still cool or whatever. They're better off as friends than anything else because they're really not that into each other. Yeah, it was kinda hot for a little while, but it got old. And they're better like this.

He tells her to shut up and goes back to his conversation with Mike about how Coach Beiste could probably like be prosecuted for child abuse or something. Finn pops in and gives his two cents- _"Yeah, I know it sucks, but we have to do it to win. And we need scholarships and stuff." _And yeah, _no. _There's no way in fucking hell that Puck's gonna play football in college.

Or, you know, _go _to college.

He's getting out, yeah. No fucking way he's staying in Lima and taking some job at some lame-ass call center or something. He's getting as far away from this place as he can the second he gets his diploma. Shit, he turns eighteen in April, and it's gonna be hard enough waiting those two extra months before he can get out. But he's not stupid. He'll wait it out, but he's not gonna like it.

Finn's like all about it, though, which is ridiculous, since he's probably the dumbest fucktard in the entire school, but whatever. If he thinks he can throw a football and get into school for it, then more power to him. Puck's not into that, though, and he's not even pretending otherwise.

Really, he's kind of sick of hearing everyone talk about college non-fucking-stop.

Like okay, he gets it. They're seniors. They're expected to go to college next year. But no. It's not like college is the _only _thing in the world to do after high school. Why would he waste a zillion bucks and like four or five years sitting in _more _classes when he's barely fucking making it through the ones he's in now? Plus, it's not like he wants to be a doctor or a lawyer or some shit. He just wants to play his music. He doesn't need a college degree for that.

No, the only things he _needs _are his guitar and a one-way plane ticket to LA.

Fuck college.

…

Rachel Berry's like this insane miniature motherfucker who can't sit still or stay quiet for like five fucking seconds.

She used to be like that when they were little kids, too, and it was just as annoying then as it is now. But back then at least _adults _liked her. They thought she was smart or charming or something. Now they just think she's batshit, and it's kind of funny to watch how pissed off she can make certain teachers. She doesn't have to even _do _anything besides just be herself, and they still look like they want to take a knife and stab her or something.

He's got three classes with her this year, and she talks too much in every single one of them. He's pretty used to it or whatever, and he doesn't even really notice it anymore. But like other people are always rolling their eyes or like laughing behind her back. Teachers always look irritated as fuck and pissed off because they can't really do anything about it. But Rachel's basically oblivious to other people's opinions about her, and even if she takes a second and recognizes them, she still doesn't care or whatever.

She just keeps talking.

They're in economics one day, and she's arguing with the teacher about the true definition of deficit or something, and Mr. Andrews looks like he's about two and a half seconds away from wrapping his hands around her neck and choking the shit out of her. That might actually be funny to watch, but Andrews isn't the one who would have to deal with her whining for the next three months that her vocal cords were damaged with the pressure. And neither are any of the other motherfuckers in this class, either, for that matter. But Puck would, and since he's not really up for hearing her bitch for the next forever how long, he shuts that shit down fast.

And by shuts it down, he means he kicks her in the shin and gives her the best kind of warning look he can give her. He feels like his mom, too, which is weird as crap.

Rachel glares back, but at least she shuts up. She's probably shocked or something, but who cares? She needs to learn how to shut her fucking mouth once in awhile, and if she needs to be kicked a little bit, he's willing to volunteer. Mr. Andrews ignores them and goes back to whatever boring lecture he was giving before Rachel interrupted him, and Puck's stuck there beside a three foot tall girl who looks like she might murder him at any freaking second.

This is _exactly _why he shouldn't be sitting beside her in the first place.

But yeah, they're at the same table. Mostly because he's a nice guy, and it's not like anyone _else _is gonna sit with her. And whatever, they're friends, and she's actually not that terrible. Plus, _somebody's _got to keep her in line and keep her from getting strangled because they've got Sectionals in a couple of months, and they need to win that shit. And Rachel's kind of a vital part of them doing that, so she can't end up dead or vocally paralyzed or something because that would suck. He's taking one for the team.

(Plus, she's pretty smart, and it's super easy to cheat off her in these seats).

"Don't _kick _me!" she hisses, and her teeth are all clenched together like she's pissed off or maybe just trying to be quiet for once.

"Then _shut up," _he tells her seriously.

Jesus, the things he does for glee.

…

Rachel tattles on him.

No, like seriously. She _tattles _on him.

He's over at Finn's playing an intense round on the new Madden (what? Just because he doesn't want to be outside in the hot as fuck sun doesn't mean he can't enjoy some electronic football inside). They've been playing for like two hours probably, and besides Kurt coming into the living room and rolling his eyes, nobody's bothered them. But then Rachel shows up, and _Puck's _the one doing the eye rolling.

She sits her ass right down between them on the sofa, and she immediately starts talking about some shit that just sounds like _blah blah blah _because seriously? What the fuck? Go _away. _

He's not listening, and he's like ninety-eight percent sure that Finn's not listening, either. He's _one-hundred _percent sure that Rachel's gonna be fucking pissed when she figures that out, but maybe it'll take her a few more minutes before she actually has to take a breath and can notice that no one gives a fuck.

But she never really gets the chance to realize that because Carole comes in and asks them if they want anything from the store.

Finn shakes his head, and Puck would ask for some Cheetos or something, but he's too busy concentrating on the game to do much more than mumble something that's not even a word.

"Rachel?"

"No, thank you." He's not really paying attention, but he knows she's smiling all sweet and politely like she needs to do something else to make Carole love her besides just _existing. _Because yeah, she's kind of the perfect catch as far as parents are concerned.

"What happened to your leg, honey?"

He's still not paying that much attention, but when he hears Rachel say, "Puck kicked me," he immediately pauses the game and looks down at her leg.

And okay, so he gets distracted for like three seconds because her legs are kind of awesome, and they're all tanned and stretched out in front of him for display. But whatever. Because there's this bruise that's like the size of a shot glass on the front of her shin, and it's bright purple and gross.

"Dude!" Finn's obviously distracted, too, because he's staring at the bruise and then looking up like a mad man. "What the hell?"

"Hey!" Carole butts in there because apparently hell's a bad word not to be used in the Hudson-Hummel home or something, and yeah, okay, whatever. She gives Finn this look like he needs to watch his mouth, and then she looks at Puck and goes, "_Noah!" _like she wants to know why he's assaulting her future daughter-in-law.

"I didn't fucking do that!"

"_Hey!" _And Carole's looking at him like she's about to smack him or wash his mouth out with soap, and seriously, she's smacked him before, so it's not like that's way off. And okay, if hell's a bad word, fuck's probably pushing it.

"Sorry," he shoots back and doesn't even really try to sound like he means it. "But I did not kick you that hard," and he gives Rachel his best WTF look because there's no way.

"Maybe you didn't _mean _to," she says calmly, "but I happen to bruise relatively easy."

"Why were you kicking her at _all_?" Finn looks pissed off, which is dumb because he knows his girlfriend is dramatic as fuck, and seriously, Puck's tempted to lick his thumb and rub it over the bruise to see if it's really made up of eye shadow or something.

He doesn't.

"Because she was about to get kicked out of class for arguing with the teacher! I was trying to warn her."

"You shouldn't be kicking people, Noah." Carole shakes her head at him, and it'd be funny if he wasn't a little bit scared of her. But she's like his second mom, so she kind of has that power of instilling fear in him that not a lot of people do.

Still, he can't even stop himself from pouting a little and mumbling, "Well, she shouldn't talk so much."

Yeah, he's five. Fucking sue him.

…

His own mom is pissed off at him, too, and he doesn't even know why.

Well, he kind of knows why, but it's stupid. And he's not in the mood to deal with her bitching at him all weekend about an F in fucking _health. _Okay, first of all, it's only the midterm reports, so those things don't really mean shit. And second of all, it's _health. _Who the fuck cares if he's passing or failing? He only goes to that class like once a week anyway.

"That's not my actual _grade," _he tries to tell her when she starts going off and demanding to know why he's failing _anything. _

"If you don't get it together, you're going to fail. And then you won't graduate!" Her voice gets louder on the end just like it always does right before she completely blows her lid and loses it.

"It's just health, Mom!" He raises his own voice because he kind of has to if he wants to get a word in at all. She's pissed, and he knows it.

"And you want something stupid like health to keep you from getting a diploma? Noah, don't be an idiot!"

"I'm not going to _fail! _Jesus fucking _Christ, _Mom, chill out."

"You better start going to class, and you better start doing the work," she orders seriously. "I am not playing."

"I will, _fuck." _He gives her that look that he always shoots whenever he wants her to just stop bitching already. She usually answers it with some kind of disappointed resolution look, and she doesn't change this time.

"And you probably need this class," she says after a second with a voice that lets him know she's trying to get one last jab in. "Maybe it can teach you how to _not _bring sixteen year old pregnant sluts into my spare room."

Yeah, she went there. It's where she always goes whenever she's trying to really make him feel like shit. She won't let it go, and he's got a feeling she'll still be bringing it up when he's like forty. He wants to tell her to shut up, but he doesn't.

He just rolls his eyes, goes upstairs, and starts reading that night's health assignment.

…

Rachel gets this stupid idea in her head where she thinks she can ask him for help and he'll just do it.

And okay, maybe she's not totally head fucked to think that because he kind of _does _do a lot of stupid shit just because she tells him to. Or asks him to. Whatever. He doesn't even really know why half the time, but she can make crazy shit sound like a good idea, and then sometimes he just does it to shut her up because if you don't do exactly whatever she says, she'll keep bitching for like _weeks. _And Jesus, if you've ever heard that girl bitching... well, it's easier to just shut her up.

She gives him his newest assignment before chemistry one day, and yeah, you better fucking believe they're partners. Again, she's smart, and she's so fucking controlling that she just ends up doing everything just to make sure it's right. So he's passing this class like it's nothing, and chemistry is way more important than health anyway.

"I need you to help me do some bare recordings for my audition portfolio."

He stares at her. Because bare recordings kind of sounds like she wants him to help her make some kind of amateur porn video or something, and hell yes. But she's still underage for a couple more months, and if there's one thing he's learned and retained during his years in high school it's that making or possessing that kind of shit while you're under eighteen can get you prosecuted for child pornography.

So he tells her that.

And then she actually _punches _him. Not like in the face or whatever, but she balls her hand up and shoves it as hard as she can into his shoulder. And fuck, she hits hard for such a little girl- not that he shows her that, of course.

"Dude! If you fucking bruise me, I'm telling Carole."

She glares at him and then does that thing where she sits up super straight like she's superior to the entire fucking human race or something. "As a matter of fact, _Noah," _and she says his name like it's some kind of dirty word or something, "I was referring to a bare recording of my _vocals. _Hence the _audition portfolio."_

He wants to tell her that a sex tape would probably catch some college people's eyes way more than a bootleg recording of some Barbra Streisand shit, but he doesn't.

"My recording software sucks," he says seriously because, well, it _does. _"It always ends up sounding like it was recorded in a locker room shower or something."

"I have brand new software. It's really good."

"Then why the hell do you need me?" He glances up at the clock and sees that class is about to start. Rachel hasn't even gotten all her shit out yet, which means that she's already behind her insane ass schedule.

"You're better at editing than I am." That's probably like the closest thing she's ever given to a compliment, so he's kind of impressed. "And I want to do a couple of acoustic tracks and would like you to back me up."

"You gonna pay me?"

"No, but _my _portfolio will also benefit your _own _portfolio. You can use the tracks as well, so it's win/win for both of us." She gives him that stupid huge smile that could probably cure cancer or something if she really tried hard enough.

He wants to point out that he has no plans to send in audition tapes or anything else to the huge list of colleges she's probably got hanging inside her locker, but he doesn't because having a few tracks on hand that highlight his guitar skills with some awesome vocals on lead.

"Yeah, okay, but you owe me."

Rachel smiles again, and then she starts freaking out because the bell rings, and she still doesn't have her shit out.

She better get it together and not fuck up their grade or something.

…

She asks him to come over on Thursday, and it's not like there's anything else going on, so he goes.

She wasn't lying about the recording shit being off the hook. It's not like just normal software on her laptop, either- she's got like legitimate mixing equipment down in the basement. Her basement's freaky enough as it is because there's like a washer and dryer and normal shit, but then there's a fucking _stage, _and now she has this little recording station.

And it's all totally normal for the Berry house.

"We should have another party." He sets his guitar down on the sofa and starts opening the case. Rachel looks like he's just suggested they kill someone.

"No _way," _she says. "Never again."

He rolls his eyes because it's not like he was being serious anyway. The last party was dope, but it basically led all those amateurs to like a week-long binge of alcoholism. And whatever, he doesn't want to watch anyone get puked on again- that shit was nasty.

Still, annoying her is pretty fun.

"Aren't your dads going to Atlanta in a few weeks?"

"How do you _know _that?" She's staring at him like she really wants to know where he gets his information, so he just shrugs and doesn't offer any explanation.

(His mom is best friends with the nosiest fucking woman in their whole temple, and sometimes he eavesdrops when he's supposed to be studying. Rachel doesn't need to know that).

"You shouldn't _stalk _me," and she's totally being serious, which is freaking hilarious because, yeah. No.

"Babe, if I was gonna _stalk _someone, it sure as hell wouldn't be you. No offense."

She's obviously offended, but whatever. It's the truth. He wouldn't actually spend his time stalking _any _of the girls in their school, but he sure as fuck wouldn't spend it stalking some chick he sees like fifty hours a day who might as well be engaged to his best friend. No thank you.

She gets all pissy after that and just hands him some sheet music. She tells him she wants to change up the bridge a little bit, and he helps her figure it out. And all in all, it's kind of okay. It's not like _torture _or anything. Plus her dad totally orders them expensive take-out from this Brazilian place that Puck loves but like never eats because it costs way too fucking much. They record her song a few different times- guitar alone, vocals alone, both together... And when he finally checks the time, it's already 9:40.

He leaves because if he misses curfew, his mom's gonna kick his ass. He tells Rachel not to fuck with any of the mixing stuff while he's gone because he knows she'll get in there and start trying to edit and just end up messing everything up. She asks him if he can come back the next night, but he can't because, duh, football. She's the quarterback's girlfriend and like the most anal person on the planet- she should totally have their schedule memorized.

She just says, "Oh, yeah," and then nods. "Well, call me this weekend if you've got some free time."

He'll call her on Saturday, but he doesn't tell her that.

…

He actually _doesn't _call her on Saturday. Or Sunday, either. But it's not his fault.

He gets in trouble Friday night because he comes home drunk after the game, and even though his mom's supposed to be at fucking work, she's sitting there waiting for him. And she's not even like a little bit happy that it's three o'clock in the morning and that he comes in the door stumbling a little bit and smelling like an entire fucking keg spilled on him. (It was really only one beer, but apparently that shit sticks in your clothes and fucking _reeks). _

So, yeah. She's pissed. And he tries to distract her by asking why she's not at work because she definitely told him she was on overnights all weekend, but apparently her schedule got switched. So he's busted.

She for real _screams _at him, and he's a little bit too drunk to really take her seriously, which is probably not like the _best _way he could react. But he just doesn't actually care that much. So he just stands there and kind of looks at her while she keeps yelling about how much trouble he's in.

And yeah, he's in trouble.

So he doesn't really get the chance to call Rachel or go over and help her or anything. He doesn't get the chance to do _anything _except listen to his mom bitch at him for an entire fucking weekend and babysit his sister all freaking day on Sunday.

It sucks. He didn't even get his dick sucked at that party on Friday.

…

Rachel gives him the cold shoulder at school even after he tells her why he didn't call and all that. And whatever, she's crazy and holds grudges. Then she gets over them, and she acts like shit never happened in the first place. You just gotta give her that time.

She's over it by their Tuesday glee rehearsal, and she finds him before practice and tells him that he needs to come over later and help her because she needs to start working on the next song soon. He wants to tell her that she doesn't get to decide what he _needs _to do because he's a grown ass man, but he doesn't because she walks away and goes over to talk to Artie about being flat on some notes or something. Puck stops listening even though watching Artie contemplate murder is kind of fucking funny.

Mr. Schue is all about love songs this week or something, and nobody really seems into it except Rachel who looks like she might bounce out of her seat. She's probably got like a whole fucking list of love ballads that she thinks are perfect for her and Finn, and watching that shit is gonna be nauseating. Nobody else in the whole room seems excited, though, and it's funny because like mostly everybody's single for once. Or at least the majority of them are. That pretty much _never _happens. So that kind of makes the whole appeal of love songs even less than it would be anyway.

He wants to do an acoustic version of "My Heart Will Go On" just to watch Rachel piss her pants in fury or something.

…

Finn gets hurt at football practice.

Like really hurt.

It's pretty fucking scary because he gets hit, and then he's just lying there not moving, and no one's fucking _doing _anything. Seriously, everyone just like backs away from him and stares, and it's like there's fifty thousand pounds of silence pounding around them or something. And Puck can't do anything but just stand there and look at his best friend lying there ten feet away, and he seriously can't even remember how to breathe.

It seems like hours pass, and they all just stand there _staring. _But it's really only probably a few seconds because Coach Beiste comes running over and pushing people out of the way so she can get to Finn. She crouches down beside him and starts asking him shit and looking at his face through his helmet.

He doesn't answer.

The ambulance comes, and Beiste leaves practice to go with them to the hospital. Everybody else is just kind of in shock, and Puck still can't fucking even _think _because shit like this doesn't happen. Or at least it's not supposed to. People get hit all the time, but they always get back up. They don't just fucking _lie _there and get taken away in fucking _ambulances._

He knows the hospital or Coach Beiste or something will call Carole and Burt, but it hits him that somebody needs to tell everybody else. Like mostly Rachel. And he has a feeling that person's gonna end up being him because he doubts Finn's parents are gonna be thinking about anything besides getting to the hospital and getting their kid to wake the hell up. Maybe Kurt would tell Rachel, but who knows.

So Puck calls her.

He's in the locker room changing back into normal clothes, and there are however many fucking other dudes around doing the same thing. Usually everybody's just laughing and joking and ragging each other, but none of that's going on right now. Everybody's pretty freaked out, so it's kind of quiet, and nobody's saying much.

Rachel answers the phone, and when Puck says, "Finn got hurt," he's like a hundred percent positive that every other guy on the team hears him.

He grabs his t-shirt and leaves before he even puts it on because he doesn't want a bunch of other people listening in. They obviously know what happened, but they don't need to hear him trying to explain it to the dude's girlfriend, especially when none of them even fucking _know _her and still give Finn shit about her like all the fucking time.

Seriously, fuck those guys.

He tells Rachel what happened, and she starts freaking out pretty much instantly, which is exactly what he expected. He tries to tell her to calm down and that Finn's probably fine, but it doesn't do much except make her freak out even more and scream at him that he doesn't _know _that. And yeah, so he _doesn't _know that, but it's probably true.

He finally tells her to just chill out for like five fucking minutes and he'll come and get her. She sure as hell doesn't need to be driving right now because she's freaking dramatic on a normal day- she'd probably drive right into a ditch today.

"Just calm down," he tells her seriously because he doesn't need her having some kind of panic attack or something.

And fuck knows she would.

…

Finn's got what the doctor calls a "fairly serious" concussion.

And really, Puck didn't know concussions were that big of a deal. Like obviously he knows you're not supposed to sleep or whatever because he sees that in movies all the time. But those people always get like a bandage over a cut on their forehead and go home. They're making Finn stay at the hospital "for observation" because he apparently stayed knocked out for too long, and he's been puking kind of a lot, which is also obviously not the best thing. And his _eardrum _is fucked, which is the most random thing ever, but whatever.

But he's awake.

He's awake and talking normal, and he's clearly not like in danger of dying overnight or anything. Carole looks like she's been freaking out for hours, but she's finally calmed down a little bit. Rachel's another fucking story, and she cries for seriously like three hours straight in the waiting room, and then when they finally get to see Finn, she starts up all over again. And yeah, it's just kind of fucking silly, but no one ever accused her of being _under_dramatic.

Puck can tell she's doing more harm than good because Finn looks really pale and kind of still in pain, and Rachel's yammering away a hundred miles a minute, which isn't good for _anyone, _especially somebody with a head injury and a fucked up ear. Dude like literally _winces _while she's talking, and he should seriously be glad he's laid up in a hospital bed because Rachel probably doesn't like it when people, you know, _wince _while she's running her mouth. But since he's injured, she doesn't try to murder him or anything.

But yeah, she _cries _and fucking _cries._

Finn tells her he's fine and not to worry, but it'd probably be more convincing if his words weren't like slurring together and if he didn't stop in the middle of a sentence and puke over the side of his bed. And seriously? Gross.

Burt makes them leave around nine because Finn keeps falling asleep and needs to rest or whatever. He promises to keep them posted if anything changes, but he says it's all gonna be fine, and it probably will be.

Puck has to stand around feeling awkward as fuck while Rachel tries to kiss Finn without making him puke or black out or something, and then he has to wait while she cries in his ear and says a bunch of stuff Puck neither hears nor cares to hear.

But when he takes her home, she sits in his truck for a minute after it's stopped, and then she leans over the console and hugs him. It's not like she _never _hugs him or something because she does. Sometimes. But it feels weird now. Like serious or something.

And he's glad when she lets go.

…

Finn gets out of the hospital two days later, but he's not allowed back at school, which means they're fucked in football and fucked in glee.

And Finn's more fucked in school than he is normally.

Which is like... a _lot._

But none of that shit really matters because Finn's okay, but he's also like, _hurt. _And that's pretty scary because he's Finn, and he's like gigantic and huge and seems invincible, but he's _not. _He got hit, got knocked out, and now he's on bed rest for X amount of time because his head's all screwy and because he's got like sixty percent hearing loss in his left ear or something.

Just crazy.

Puck goes by his house and sees him every couple of days. It's weird because it's not like he has some standing excuse to drop in. Like he could take him his homework or something, but Kurt can pretty much take care of that. And whatever Kurt misses, Rachel sure as hell catches. So Puck has no _real _reason to be there, he just kinda wants to be.

They play video games from Finn's bed, and they eat whatever huge load of junk food Carole brings up (seriously, the best part of all this is definitely the food), and they just hang out and talk and stuff. It's kind of more like they used to be- back before glee and girls and babies and break ups. They've been friends again for awhile, but it never really got back to how it used to be. Now it kind of is, though, and it's cool.

Just sucks that it had to happen because of something like _this._

…

He's still helping Rachel with all her audition shit, but they've both got a lot less time now that they're on Operation Keep Finn Company.

He's over at her house one Tuesday, though, and they're working on editing some stuff they've already recorded. She's way too quiet, which is basically scary as hell because she's _never _quiet. Not even lately with all the shit's that been going on. She still talks all the fucking time, and now when she's not, it's just... weird.

"What's up with you?"

She doesn't even look at him when she says, "Nothing."

"You're being weird as shit. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." And he's not dumb because repeating something doesn't magically make it true. Something's _obviously _wrong, and now he just wants to know what.

"Then start talking," and he's not even joking. "You're weirding me out."

Rachel looks at him then and rolls her eyes. "_Sorry," _and she doesn't sound like even a little bit sorry. "I'm just thinking about college. I"m getting nervous about auditioning and everything."

He doesn't know why anyone would want to go to some school you have not only have to pay for but have to _audition _to even get in, but Rachel's nut crazy about it.

"You should just shut up because you know you're fucking gonna be awesome and shit." Once again, not even joking.

Rachel looks a little bit pleased because she freaking loves collecting compliments. But then she changes the subject and puts it on him. "Where all are you applying?"

"I'm not."

It's not a lie, it's just the truth. He's not applying anywhere because he's not _going _anywhere. At least not to any school. He'll be out, but it won't be for college.

"What?" And Rachel looks terrified like somebody just told her that Broadway burnt down or something. "What do you mean you're not?"

"I'm _not," _he says again because he doesn't know how much fucking _plainer _he can make it.

"Noah!" She pauses after that because she obviously has no freaking clue what to say next. She settles with, "You _have _to go to college!"

"Why?"

"Because that's what you're supposed to do!" And she totally sounds like she believes that.

"Says who?"

"Um, _everybody."_

She's fucking nuts. Like seriously. She lives inside her own head, and she believes everything the little gnomes in her brain tell her. It's kind of hilarious.

So he laughs. "There's plenty of shit do besides go to college, Rach."

"You can't stay here," and she sounds dead ass serious. He's kind of caught off-guard by it a little bit, and she's just staring at him.

"I'm not staying here," and seriously? He's kind of offended that she'd even say that. "I'll go to like California or something. But I don't need college to do that shit."

She's just looking at him. It's weird and makes him uncomfortable. He thinks she's probably just shocked that he has legitimate aspirations to get the fuck out of Ohio.

He doesn't know why people are always so surprised by that.

…

When Finn finally gets to come back to school, it's not even like remotely a happy day.

He looks twelve shades of pissed off the first time Puck sees him. It's right before lunch, and he hasn't talked to him in a few days, so he's not really sure what or _if _anything's going on. He stops him in the hallway, though, and asks what's up, and Finn just kind of looks like he wants to punch something.

"I can't play anymore." His voice doesn't match the look on his face, and that might be kind of cool if Puck wasn't stuck on what was actually said.

"Can't play what? Football?"

"Football, basketball... Anything!" Finn looks halfway hysterical. "At least not for awhile, and after that, what the hell does it even matter because it's sure as hell not like I can get back into playing after high school!"

"Dude, calm down!" And Puck seriously doesn't mean to raise his voice then, but he needs to be heard. When Finn finally _does _calm down for half a second, Puck keeps going. "Seriously, like who told you you can't play?"

"The doctor! She said my ear's all fucked up and might have permanent damage or something if I get hit again. And she said my head's okay, but that I'm probably gonna have migraines for like ever or something."

Puck just stares at him because... _For real?_

"I can't play, dude," Finn says again, and he's a little calmed down now. "If I can't play, how the hell am I gonna go to college?"

Puck has nothing to say to that because, well, it's not like he really gives much thought to the whole college thing. So he just shrugs and says the only thing in his head.

"So don't go."

That's obviously not the right thing to say.

Finn looks at him like he's some kind of jackass douchebag, which maybe he is, but whatever. "Dude," and he trails off like he can't even think of how to respond. "What the hell? That's just dumb."

And really? What is the big fucking deal? It's like nobody else around here has even _considered _the possibility that there's life after high school that doesn't involve frat parties and dorm rooms. It's just _stupid._

"Nobody wants to get stuck here." Finn sounds way too defensive when he says it, which... what? "I'm not gonna be some stupid Lima Loser!"

Okay, so dude's probably half-hysterical, plus he has a head injury, so Puck's willing to give him a pass. But seriously, he should just shut the fuck up. Just because somebody doesn't have stupid college plans doesn't mean they're doomed for a life as a Lima Loser. There's no fucking _way _Puck plans on being stuck here, and anybody who acts like they can't get out is just lazy. Like seriously.

"I _have _to go to college." Finn looks dead ass serious. "I... Man, I can't get _into _college without football. Seriously."

And that's probably the truth. Like he could probably go to community college or something, but that kind of defeats the whole getting the hell out of Lima purpose. But still, he could get in _somewhere. _Maybe.

Puck almost suggest this, but he gets cut off when Finn puts the stopper on everything.

"College is the only way I can get to New York."

And that's it. It's not about college or football or anything. It's about Rachel. Just like everything else in the whole damn world seems to be.

Puck could give a _fuck _whether or not Finn gets to New York.

…

He has a dream about Rachel.

That's not like crazy unusual or anything. He dreams about her, not a _lot, _but enough. He stopped thinking of those dreams as signs from God like a long ass time ago and just started enjoying them.

Dream Rachel is like _way _less annoying than Real Rachel. Dream Rachel barely talks, she _never _sings, and she's really, _really _fucking dirty.

That's kind of funny because here's the thing. He's been in Rachel's bed. On multiple occasions. And yeah, she's hot, and yeah, she's a really good kisser. But she's not _dirty. _She doesn't _say_ dirty things or _do _dirty things. And she is like for real serious about keeping hands over clothes and away from certain areas- which really means she keeps her hands on his shoulders, and he keeps his hands _anywhere _besides her boobs. (She actually doesn't care about getting her ass groped, which is weird, but he's not gonna complain).

But Dream Rachel doesn't have any stupid rules, and she's always down for like anything. _Anything. _

So that's what's weird. It's like, he _knows _Rachel. And he knows how she is and what she does and what she doesn't do. So he _knows _Finn's not getting laid. Like ever. Actually, when Finn talks about Rachel (which is rare, but yeah, it happens), it really seems like she's even _less _open with him than she is (was) with Puck. And that's fucked up. But it's also kind of awesome.

Still, he doesn't get why anyone, even someone as dumb as Finn, would waste all these many months on some chick who won't fuck him and probably won't even suck his dick. Shit, Finn did it with _Santana. _That's legitimately the _only _comparison he has, and he's willing to wait around this long for _Rachel? _Doesn't make sense.

Now Dream Rachel? Worth waiting around for. (Also would never _make_ you wait).

…

He was wrong about hell residing on the McKinley football field. It's actually smack dab in the middle of the McKinley choir room.

Okay, so not actually smack dab in the middle. Rachel's sitting on the back row at the very end of the student seats when he finds her. And trust, he did _not _go looking for her. He actually only came in here because he needed something out of his guitar case. He sure as hell didn't expect to see Rachel there in the middle of the day, crying all by herself.

But there she is.

It scares him a little bit. Not because she's crying because he's seen her cry tons of times. But she's like super dramatic, so she does a lot of that shit for attention. People pay attention to her when she cries, and that girl _likes _attention. But nobody's around right now. Like seriously. The room's empty, and no one's gonna be in here for another three hours. Rachel shouldn't even be in here herself- she should be in English. (Fuck you, he only knows that shit because he sometimes has to find her in there to get her chem homework).

It's even weirder because she totally tries to _stop _crying the second she realizes she's not alone. Like she sees him, and she for real wipes her eyes and sniffs really hard to stop the tears or something. But obviously he's not buying that.

"The fuck is wrong with you?"

Okay, so he could probably ask a little more nicely but whatever. He just wants to know why the hell she's skipping class to cry in the choir room.

"What are you doing in here?" She looks at him like he's trespassing or something, which is funny since contrary to what she may believe in RachelWorld, she doesn't _actually _own the choir room.

"Asked you first."

"Leave me alone," and what the fuck because he wasn't even _bothering _her, but whatever. "I'm tired. I just need to rest for a little while."

"You're supposed to be in class." He points this out to her because he's starting to think that she must have forgotten or something. Otherwise, he doesn't know why the hell she'd be anywhere else. It's not like she's capable of even bending the rules a little bit.

"Don't lecture me on skipping class, Noah Puckerman!" She glares at him, and he'd laugh if she didn't look fucking terrifying right now. "You're supposed to be in health, and I know for a _fact _that you're _barely_ pulling a D minus."

Okay, seriously. _How _does she know that? And second of all, D minus is up from the F, so there.

"Stalker."

She glares at him again.

"Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying." And maybe she's not at this exact second, but that's bullshit because she knows good and fucking well that she was crying ten seconds ago. Hell, she's still got tears on her cheeks.

He just looks at her and gives her his best WTF look until she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"I'm just stressed," and she sounds like super tired and annoyed. "I'm worried about my auditions and not being ready or not getting in. I'm fine. I just need to rest for a few minutes."

He doesn't call her out on the fact that she's seriously skipping class, not just sitting down to chill for a few seconds. Whatever, it's probably not his business anyway.

He just gets what he needs out of his case and then shoves his guitar back into the closet.

He lifts his chin to acknowledge Rachel before he leaves the room.

…

She texts him that night and just says, _Thanks for checking on me._

He wants to write back and tell her that maybe next time she shouldn't be a fucking bitch when he tries to help her. But then he remembers the way she looked while she was crying, and he doesn't.

He just texts back, _no prob, _and then turns his phone off so he can go to sleep.

…

…

….

A/N: So, this turned out to be massive after I started writing, so I split it up into two parts. Next part, coming soon!

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**WHENEVER YOU REMEMBER**

**Part II**

**...**

Rachel and Finn break up one day right in in the fucking middle of glee.

It's crazy. Like really, nobody even thinks it's real. They're all just sitting there watching while it happens. Seriously, it's not even important.

Mr. Schue's in some kind of meeting, so he left them in charge of themselves. And to pretty much nobody's surprise, Rachel took that to mean that _she _was in charge, so she's been up there for like ten minutes blabbing on about some stupid bullshit that nobody cares about until Santana (of course) makes some bitchy comment. And bitchy, yeah, but also true.

Rachel snaps on her and starts being super bitchy right back, and that turns into a fight between _those _two. That's actually kind of funny, but Puck (and everybody else) knows that the second Finn opens his mouth to tell _Rachel _to chill out that it's basically over.

That obviously turns into a fight between Rachel and Finn because, _"Why aren't you ever on my side? You're supposed to be my boyfriend!" "You're being crazy! She's not even important, just let it go." "I'm not crazy!" _And blah blah fucking _blah._

Somehow it gets way out of control, though, and Rachel yells at him to just dump her if he's so miserable, and Finn rolls his eyes, which is probably not the right move. So then Rachel gets all teary and says they're on their own for Sectionals right before she grabs her bag and storms out of the choir room in some classic old school Rachel Berry move.

And seriously? What the fuck?

Nobody believes she's serious with the storming out shit because, well, she never is. And she's sure as hell not going to miss out on Sectionals or anything when it's their last year. So she'll be back, but it's still fucking stupid because she hasn't pulled that shit since they were like sophomores.

And the Rachel/Finn crap is weird, too.

…

The storm out doesn't last, and neither does the breakup.

Finchel's back together and going strong like two days later, and whatever, nobody thought it was serious anyway. But all that stupid kind of fighting BS is just dumb. They're like the most dramatic couple in history, and they're not even doing it for the make-up sex.

Total fucking waste.

…

Santana may still be bitchy and causing fights and breakups and all that shit, but she's also gay now.

Or something.

Really, Puck doesn't understand that because seriously? He's fucked her like forty million times, and she's never complained or seemed like she was wishing he had a pussy or something. It's just weird that now she's like totally off dick because she seemed to enjoy it a whole fucking lot just a little while ago. And he doesn't get it. Like okay, seriously, he knows way more gay people than he ever really thought he would, but the dudes act like they've known that shit forever. Plus, isn't the whole point of it kind of that they were, well, _born that way? _So it just doesn't click with him how she's all of a sudden a lesbian or whatever. Like it just came out of nowhere that she wasn't into dudes at all? Weird. Because he's pretty sure that if he secretly wanted to suck cock or something, he'd know it by now.

But whatever.

Santana's gay, kind of out, and still the world's biggest bitch to ever walk the fucking planet.

She can't stop giving Rachel shit to like save her own damn life or something. She's just fucking _mean, _which yeah, okay, not a huge surprise. But they're almost done with school, and it's not like she _actually _hates Rachel or anything. She just gets bored, and she gives her shit, and she says all kinds of fucked up and rude crap, and Rachel always ends up super upset.

And it's just like a never-ending cycle.

And one day while he's helping her with her music, Rachel just randomly starts talking about how much Santana sucks and how she can't understand _why _Santana hates her so much. And it's just stupid because honestly? He doesn't really care.

"Santana's a bitch. Ignore her."

"_You _wouldn't be able to ignore her if she said the things to you that she does to me. I just don't get it! I don't know what I ever did to her."

"You sing better than her?" He's grasping at straws here. "She doesn't like the way you dress? Maybe she secretly wants to fuck you? Hell, I don't know, who _cares?"_

Rachel glares at him, so that was probably all the wrong shit to say. But he doesn't care. She's being dumb, and she knows it. Why does she give a shit what Santana says or does? It's freaking _Santana._

She lets him play for maybe like five minutes, and then she tells him she's tired and wants to go to bed.

He takes that as his cue to leave.

…

Rachel goes to New York for some audition and school interview the week before Thanksgiving.

She leaves on a Thursday and won't be back til Tuesday, so that's like five whole days where Puck and Finn can just hang out without having to deal with Rachel constantly interrupting them, lecturing them on language, and wasting all that time correcting their grammar and shit.

They spend most of it just hanging out, playing video games, and eating. Kind of just like they did when he was still hurt. It's cool. It's like they can just go back to being bros without having to deal with some chick butting in and bugging the shit out of them. Like Rachel's cool or whatever (most the time), but she seriously gets _old _after awhile.

They're over at Puck's house one day "baby-sitting" his little sister- she's upstairs in her room doing fuck knows what, and they're downstairs in the living room watching NFL recaps. Puck's fucking around on the laptop, and Finn's on the couch texting somebody. Probably Rachel, and that's pretty much confirmed when Finn sighs all dramatic like he's channeling his batshit girlfriend, and then he just shakes his head.

And okay. Puck's been around _Rachel _enough to know that that's a cue for somebody to ask what's wrong. It's annoying as fuck, and he hates that shit, but he asks anyway.

"The hell is wrong with you?"

Finn sighs again, and it'd almost be funny if it wasn't so pathetic (and also fucking terrifying). Then he kind of rolls his eyes a little bit.

"We almost had sex."

And okay then. _What?_

"What do you mean _almost?" _Puck doesn't really understand the concept of _almost _because he hasn't _almost _had sex since he was like thirteen and coming in his pants. But yeah, it's Finn or whatever, so he's probably _still _doing that shit.

"I mean _almost," _and he gets this look that just screams _you're a dumbass. _"I mean, I thought we were gonna, and we almost did. And then she just like stopped. And dude, I don't know."

Puck doesn't really want to like _think _bout Finn and Rachel and anything having to do with nakedness- _together, _at least, Dream Rachel can be as naked as she wants. But seriously, this is just getting kind of dumb. If you put all the times they've dated together, it totally comes up to like at least a year. And that's just fucking stupid. Who dates somebody for a _year _and doesn't even get the fun stuff?

"Do you think she was serious about that twenty-five stuff?" Finn looks worried like it might actually be real or something. It's kind of funny.

But yeah, Rachel saying she's not having sex til she's twenty-five is hilarious and also stupid because there' s no fucking way. But if she's all set on that and holding out, then fuck that.

"If she is, you need to lay that shit out," and he's dead ass serious, too. "Tell her you're not waiting that long, and she can either fuck you or fuck off."

Finn gives him this look that lets him know he's probably being an asshole, but what the hell ever. _Truth._

"I'm serious, man. That's not fair. Like how is she gonna keep cock-teasing you for like _years? _If you tell her that shit and she loves you, then she'll be like _okay _and then you can finally get laid."

"Dude, you sound like the bad guy in an after-school special or something."

There's probably something in there that should offend him, but he just shrugs. "Whatever. The bad guys are the realest." He also knows for a fact that Rachel _likes _bad boys- she admitted that shit.

Then his sister comes downstairs looking bored as crap and says she's hungry, so they have to cut the sex talk and go make dinner.

And by make dinner, he means order a pizza.

…

Rachel comes back from New York bragging about how great her audition went, and everyone basically ignores her.

She doesn't notice obviously because she does this thing where she pretends everyone loves her and filters out all kinds of evidence that proves they, you know, _don't. _She talks about it for like three fucking days, and everyone continues to not give a fuck.

She asks him over to help her with some editing on one of the songs they did a few weeks ago, and he goes because he's bored. It's either deal with Rachel or help his sister make a fucking shadow box of the American Revolution, and seriously? Fuck that.

She's still in her happy as hell mood, and she's bouncing around the basement like she's on crack or something. Maybe she _is _on crack. It would explain so much. He's just fucking around with the mixing equipment, trying to cut the track so that they're blending better. She kind of have this tendency to over-sing his guitar, so he always has to fix that.

She starts talking about New York again and won't fucking shut up. She's just talking and talking about how much she loves the city and how she can't wait to live there and how all of her dreams are gonna come true and blah blah blah, he doesn't care. He really doesn't even try to fake like he's interested because that shit just encourages her. Not like she notices anyway.

But then she starts talking about _him _again, and he actually pays attention.

"You should submit some of these demos and apply, too."

Number one, he doesn't even know where she's talking about when she says apply because he hasn't been paying attention. Number two? _Fuck._

"I already told you I'm not going to college." And he gives her this annoyed look because hell, she's pissing him off.

"Noah, I don't want to see you waste your talent. Education is _important." _

She sounds like a guidance counselor or maybe like his mom or something. It's annoying as fuck.

"That shit's not for everybody."

"But it would be so much fun! We could all be together- you, me, Finn. Kurt's going, too. It would be great!"

He rolls his eyes. Totally has no interest in living the rest of his life with the same people he's known since he was born. You're supposed to graduate high school and make _new _friends- not continue fucking around with the same ones you had before. Rachel might know this if she knew like anything at all about friends, but she doesn't have a ton of experience or anything.

So he doesn't call her out on that.

…

She's wrong, though. It doesn't happen like that.

Kurt happens first. He changes his mind about New York and decides to go to some music school in Cincinnati. It's probably cheaper and obviously closer, and he doesn't act like he's freaking devastated over pushing New York off. Rachel does the exact opposite and acts like somebody seriously stabbed her in the heart when he announces this. She's all pissed off and hurt and totally makes the whole thing about her. It's ridiculous, but it's definitely Rachel.

Puck's the one who has to deal with it because Finn's out sick, and obviously _he_ wouldn't like argue that Kurt shouldn't try to save their parents a little bit of money anyway. So Puck's got Rachel after glee because she only drives to school like twice a week and hitches rides the rest of the time because she says she doesn't like contributing to global warming or some shit. He doesn't know, it's dumb.

And that's when it all goes to hell.

She starts crying and saying how it's not fair and how Kurt _promised _her and how he's a bad friend and also a liar, and it all sounds like a bunch of bullshit really. She's kind of selfish a lot, so it's not some huge surprise or anything, but it's still really dumb. And he tells her that.

"That's Kurt's business. He's a big boy, he can make his own damn decisions. He's allowed to rethink shit if he needs to."

She glares at him from the passenger seat, and he just waits until she comes up with something to say back.

"Well, he shouldn't make _promises _and then go back on them. That's rude."

He rolls his eyes and wonders if she'd like kick him in the balls or something if he told her she's being a bitch. She'd probably be super pissed and stop talking to him or something. He's really not sure whether that'd be a good thing or a bad thing.

"Well, ask your dads to pay for him to be in New York, and I'm sure you guys can work that shit out."

He's totally not even playing. Rachel's like oblivious to the fact that not everybody in the world has some perfect life like she's got. And yeah, Kurt's life is definitely not _bad, _like at all. But he's not an only child, and neither of his parents have fancy high-paying gigs like _both _of Rachel's do. But she can't comprehend that shit.

It's not the first time it's pissed him off.

…

They win Sectionals, and everybody's pretty happy.

Except Rachel who's been pouting for like two weeks over Kurt's _betrayal._

Puck's pretty sure he's the only one who notices.

…

Rachel officially becomes _not a virgin _over Christmas break.

It happens like two days after her birthday, and hell, maybe she just wanted to wait til she was officially an adult or something. Whatever, she gives it up and makes Finn swear not to tell anybody. So naturally, he texts Puck like right after and tells him and then follows up with _don't tell anybody._

And Puck's kind of an asshole, so he tells like three people. So pretty much everybody knows within a week, and they're not even in school.

…

He's not really _bothered _that they're finally having sex, but when he actually _sees _them for the first time, it's kind of weird.

He goes to this party at Brittany's house, and they're both gonna be there. And whatever, everybody's mostly just hanging out and like a few people are drinking but it's not really that kind of party. Really, it's mostly Santana and Brittany who are drinking, and everyone else is just watching them and kind of joking around. Santana's supposedly got a girlfriend now, but she _never _brings her anywhere, and Puck is pretty sure no one's even met her.

They're all kind of wondering if this chick even exists.

Finn and Rachel show up later than everybody else, and they get all kinds of stares and snickers because everyone knows they're doing it now, even if _they _don't know that it's common knowledge. Rachel looks suspicious and kind of uncomfortable, and Finn knows what's up like the second they show up. This is gonna end up being blamed on Puck, but whatever, he doesn't give a shit. Finn's the one who told in the first place, so it's really his fault

It takes about half an hour for the shit to hit the fan.

Rachel must get all suspicious and flat out _ask _Mercedes or something because she comes back in the living room where there's a half-assed game of poker going on and tells Finn that she's leaving. And he looks at her and obviously knows exactly what the fuck is up because he kind of cringes and starts to get up, too, but she stops him.

"I'm going _alone," _and yeah, there's not really any arguing against the fact that she is _super _pissed off. And maybe like hurt or something. But she's being all passive-aggressive right now, which just makes her even scarier.

Finn kind of glares at Puck after she leaves, but Puck just shrugs because, yeah, totally not his fault.

…

Rachel sends him a text message in the middle of the fucking night. Yeah, it's definitely 3:38 AM, and he's waking up to his phone buzzing.

It's some crazy text that's all perfect grammar and spelling and so fucking long that it has to be broke up into _three _different texts.

_You should stay out of things that have nothing to do with you, and you really shouldn't be spreading other people's business. Finn told me that you're the one who told everyone, and I really don't appreciate it. I'm also hurt because I thought we were friends, but maybe I was wrong. It's none of your business what Finn and I do, and it's certainly not your place to go around telling other people. Finn made a mistake telling you, but at least he didn't spread it to the whole world. Maybe you need a girlfriend so you can be occupied with your own life instead of having to cause drama in other people's lives. I'm really upset._

And okay? Is she even for fucking _real _with this shit? And also, Finn's a fucking shitty friend, throwing people under the bus and crap.

He doesn't reply.

…

He doesn't talk to Finn _or _Rachel until they're back in school, but then he doesn't have a choice because Rachel's his freaking _lab _partner.

She's still pissed, and she kind of looks at him all mean while she sets up their desk for the first day of class. He doesn't say anything to her because seriously? Fuck her. She shouldn't send him some bitchy ass text message in the middle of the night and then expect that he's not gonna like hate her or something afterward. Because he's really fucking good at being stubborn and holding a grudge.

The problem is... so is she.

So they do that for like four straight days. They have all these classes together where they have to sit together and like work on shit together, and they don't even _speak. _The only time either of them even says a word is once when Rachel tells him he's an idiot for like lighting the burner wrong or something in chemistry.

But then on Friday, she finally breaks down and talks to him before economics.

"Stop ignoring me," and it's like she's being serious and not like she wasn't the one who sent him that text and went off on him. "You have no right to be mad at me."

And that breaks him, too, because he's not just gonna let her get away with saying that kind of shit. "What the fuck ever. You have no right being pissed at _me _because _your_ boyfriend can't keep a goddamn secret."

"Finn knows he was wrong!" and she's doing that whisper yell thing to let him know she's pissed, but it's kind of fucking hot and distracts him for a second. "But you had no right telling anyone, either. It's nobody's business!"

"How was it?" And yeah, he's just trying to make her mad now. He doesn't even care. She looks at him, and he just keeps going. "Like it? Did it live up to your expectations and all that shit?"

"Noah." And her voice is still low, and she's looking at him in this way that he kind of totally hates and kind of totally likes. "Stop."

"Whatever."

And he does stop. But just because he wants to, not because she tells him to.

…

Rachel gets into NYU and goes absolutely fucking nuts.

She finds out early because, of course, she applied for early admissions. She's crazy excited, though, and she actually comes over to his house and jumps on him when he answers the door. They're over their fight or whatever it is they were having, and things are back to normal, but he still doesn't expect to open his front door and find some girl like for real _jumping _into his arms. He has no choice but to catch her, or they're both gonna fall over.

"I got in!" And she shoves the acceptance letter in his hands when he puts her back on her feet. He glances at it even though she already told him what it said.

NYU's her top choice, and he's not like even remotely shocked that she got in or anything because, well, she's _her. _But it's still kind of cool because she's so happy and spastic, and she's practically like _vomiting _excitement or something.

He tells her congratulations, and she's just all smiles. It's kind of cute.

"Thank you _so _much for helping me, Noah." And she's totally serious. She really does appreciate him, and she's not gonna skimp on thanks or anything. "You did so much for me, and I really appreciate it!"

He just shrugs because yeah, he helped her mix some songs, but it's her and her voice and all the rest of the shit she's awesome at that got her into college. She's so freaking _happy _right now.

He kind of wishes he didn't notice so much.

…

This thing starts happening. Just a thing.

Like maybe sometimes he looks at her and totally doesn't even notice the fact that she's got on some ugly ass bird sweater or some stupid knee socks or whatever. He just looks at her and thinks she's cute, and that's just fucking weird because he doesn't really _do _cute. And sometimes he realizes he's actually _listening _to her when she's on one of her long drawn out rants about something basically _nobody _gives a fuck about.

And hell, sometimes he just likes hanging out with her.

They don't hang out alone together. Not anymore. Not now that Rachel's already into college and they have no legitimate reason to be alone together at _all _really. But they hang out with the group, and they hang out at Finn's house, and they hang out at school... It's kind of cool.

So he hates when it's more like a _thing._

And okay, he knows Rachel, and she's totally like his sister or something. So it's really weird when he starts looking at her and thinking she's cute and not just like attractive in a hot Jew kind of way. _Obviously, _he knows she's hot. And obviously he's attracted to her. They've made out way too many times for that to be anything _but _obvious, but it's not like he _likes _her. Like he wants to _date _her or something.

Except he _has _dated her, and it didn't totally suck.

But whatever. It's not like he's super into her or anything, and he's totally over that thing where he _has _to edge in on other dude's girls. Especially _Finn. _He likes to think he's grown up a lot the past couple of years, and even though he still does plenty of shitty stuff, at least he doesn't usually do it on _purpose._

So Rachel? Hands off and total no go.

…

Finn loses out on his last shot the week of spring break.

Even though he can't play football or whatever, he still applied to a bunch of schools in New York just to see if somebody might take him. But nobody will, and his last shot comes in the form of a final rejection letter one day while they're hanging out with Kurt and watching some stupid slasher movie on STARZ that no one's really paying attention to. But then the mail comes, and the last chance Finn had of making it to New York is pretty much chopped.

And Puck actually feels _sorry _for him.

Yeah, up until now, he's not really, you know, given a fuck whether or not Finn makes it to New York, but now that the last letter's in and says no just like all the rest, he kind of gets that it sucks. Because seriously, Rachel's going to New York one way or another, and if Finn wants like any chance of hell of hanging onto her, he probably needs to be there, too. And now he can't. So yeah, it sucks.

Finn drops the letter on the table and doesn't say anything. Kurt picks it up to read, but Puck already knows what it says.

"Dude-" And he doesn't know what to say, so he's kind of glad when Finn cuts him off.

"Whatever."

And yeah, whatever. Except Finn couldn't sound less convincing if he fucking _tried._

…

Rachel comes over at like nine o'clock at night, and he wonders if somebody like died or something.

She doesn't come over a lot anymore, and she especially doesn't come over totally unannounced. But there she is, standing on his front porch after ringing the doorbell three times in a row.

She must notice the confused look on his face because she smiles and says, "Hi," like it's totally normal for her to be standing there.

He lets her in and doesn't even realize he's not wearing a shirt until he catches her staring a little bit, and after that, he's sure as hell not gonna go put one on because, yeah. Instead, he just goes for the age old douchebag act and gives her one of those trademark smirks. Maybe he's being nice these days, but he's still got it deep down.

"And to what do I owe this pleasure?"

Rachel rolls her eyes because she's obviously not really in the _mood _for the douchebag act, but he doesn't really care so much. "I need someone to talk to."

"Don't you have a shrink for that? Or like, a boyfriend?" And he's honestly not being an asshole, but that's real.

"I need to talk to someone who isn't Finn. Or related to Finn." He realizes that must suck, too. Like if you want to bitch about your boyfriend, and your BFF is his brother. Sucks.

But then again, the last time Rachel came to him wanting to talk about her boyfriend (and okay, maybe he actually went to her, same fucking difference), they ended up making out in her room, and both kind of fucked on the Finn front. That's not gonna happen this time, though, and he's not gonna like tempt fate or anything, either, so he sits down in the living room and puts his feet up on the coffee table to show that he's not going any further. If his mom was here, she'd totally scream at him for putting his feet on the furniture, and the way Rachel looks at him makes him think she might know that or something. Scary.

Regardless, she sits down on the other end of the sofa and tucks one leg underneath her. She's wearing tights because it's March and still kind of cold, and that just sucks because he would totally be able to sneak a peek at her panties if those tights weren't in the way. He thinks it's kind of ironic anyway because her foot's on the furniture, too, so she needs to give herself that same little disapproving look. But, of course, she doesn't.

"Finn didn't get into any of the schools he applied to."

Puck already knows this. Hell, he was sitting right there when the last chance came in the mail, but he's pretty sure he's not supposed to just be like _duh _because Rachel's acting like she seriously wants him to say something.

"Well, his plans got all fucked up when he got hurt. He was banking on football."

Rachel looks... something. Maybe annoyed. Then she just shakes her head. "He's really upset."

"He can still go to college," and for the millionth time, Puck feels like he's not the person who should be handing out advice on this because he _does not give a fuck. _"Hell, it's probably way cheaper to go around here anyway."

"I don't want him to go around here!"

She's kind of scary right now because her voice goes all high and screechy, and she sounds like some kind of psycho right before they snap and start chopping people's heads off and shit. He just looks at her because what? What is he supposed to say? If he tells her what he really thinks, she's gonna be super pissed off because what he's really thinking is _selfish, selfish, selfish. _But he's pretty sure that's not what she wants to hear.

"Well, maybe you're not always gonna get what you want..."

It's harsh, yeah, but it's still nicer than what he really wants to say.

Rachel just kind of stares at him, probably because she can't believe somebody actually called her out on being a selfish brat. It takes her like thirty seconds to think up something to say back. "I'm allowed to want my boyfriend to be in the same city as me."

And he shrugs. "Yeah, but it's pretty shitty if you go around like rubbing salt in his wounds when he obviously _can't _be."

"It's not fair!" And here she goes. This is the Rachel that everyone hates, and he wants to like grab a mirror, hold it in front of her face, and go _this is why you don't have any friends! _But he doesn't. "Everyone said they were going, and now _no one's _going!"

"Look, Rachel," and he doesn't even care if his voice sounds all gruff and serious. She needs to hear this. "I know you think the only reason you can keep living out this stupid fucking fairy tale is if you and Finn are both in New York, and you know what? Maybe that's true. I don't fucking know anything about long-distance relationships, but they work sometimes. Apparently. I guess. Whatever. Listen, it's pretty fucked up if you try to make him feel guilty over some shit like that because he's already freaking out over it anyway. Everything's not always all about you."

She just sits there through the whole thing, and when he's done, he feels bad because her eyes are starting to water. And _fuck, _he totally didn't mean to make her cry or whatever, but _shit. _That's just the truth. She needs a reality check.

"Why are you being so mean to me?"

"I'm not being _mean. _Rachel, _god. _I'm just..." He gets so frustrated with her sometimes, which makes like zero sense because he really doesn't even give enough of a shit about most things to get frustrated. So it's really fucking annoying. "Finn feels like shit."

"I have to stay here."

"What?" At first he thinks he heard her wrong because there's no way in hell she actually said _that, _but she did.

"I have to stay here. I can't... I _need _him." He really can't even believe he's hearing this shit. She sounds so... _pathetic. _"If we're not together_, _we're not going to be... _together."_

"Finn is not gonna dump you. And whatever, that just sounds stupid."

"It's not _stupid! _I'm scared to be alone!"

He wants to smack her. But she's a girl, and she clearly bruises really easily, so whatever. He's not gonna hit her. But _somebody _needs to because she's crazy as hell. "You're not gonna be alone, and if you guys _do _break up, it's not like you're never gonna find another boyfriend. It's freaking _New York, _there's like tons of people, and you're kind of hot. So I think you'll be just fine."

It's meant to be a compliment. Kind of. But Rachel clearly doesn't take it that way.

"It's not just about that," and her voice is all quiet and sad again. He likes it better when she's screechy and hysterical. "I'm scared to be _alone. _Not just without Finn, but without _anyone. _New York was supposed to be _fun..."_

"So you go to college and don't know anybody. And you're just like 99 percent of the other people there. That's fucking _normal, _Rachel."

She shakes her head. He doesn't know why or what the fuck that means.

To be so fucking smart, she sure is dumb sometimes.

…

They go to Regionals and win just like last year.

It feels good, but now they're all just nervous because Nationals will be up soon, and if they don't pull it out this year, then they won't ever get it. This is for real their last chance, and they all know it. Even if nobody will like say it out loud or whatever.

If they fuck this up, they're for real just gonna be losers forever.

…

Rachel stands up in front of their whole chemistry class one day and offers tutoring "for an obvious price."

Okay, and yeah, she's smart or whatever, but she's not Miss Genius of the World Science Freak or something. She can get an A, but she's not like _teacher _material. And more than that, nobody's gonna fucking hire her for _tutoring. _Nobody in this whole damn school would even admit they _needed _tutoring, and they sure as hell wouldn't hire some girl in their class with the biggest mouth known to man.

She's crazy.

She smiles at them all psycho-like and then sits back down at the lab table beside him. He gives her his millionth WTF look, and she rolls her eyes and sits up a little bit straighter.

When they get the go ahead from the teacher to start working on their experiment, he flat out asks her. "What the hell was that?"

"I'm trying to make extra money." And she shrugs and starts measuring out some blue liquid like it's totally fucking normal or something. "Noah, _do _something for once," and she waves her hand all crazy-like at a red liquid that he guesses he's supposed to measure or something. Really, she's just trying to change the subject.

"Extra money for what?" Her parents fucking spoil her like crazy. She's probably never even had to take the garbage out or like vacuum the carpet or anything. She just asks for shit, and they just give it to her. Her like is pretty much cake.

Rachel does a good job of ignoring him and pretending like she's working on their lab. He doesn't buy it, though, and she must get sick of him staring at her or something because she finally just rolls her eyes and tells him the truth.

"I'm trying to save money for an apartment."

"I thought you were living on campus?" That's totally what she told him that day she came over bouncing off the damn walls about an acceptance letter.

Rachel won't look at him, and he _definitely _knows something's up. He also knows _what's _up, and he's just waiting for her to come out and say it.

She doesn't.

"You really think you're staying here?" He shakes his head and kind of smirks because she's so damn stupid, but she looks at him and just glares because she's pissed that he knows her too well.

"I'm not going to live with my parents for the rest of my life," she snaps, and it'd be kind of funny if it wasn't so fucking pathetic.

"Wow, Rachel, way to give up on the only fucking thing you've wanted in your whole _life."_

"I want Finn, too." And she says it all mean and defensive, which is hilarious because she wouldn't sound that way if she didn't know she was being an idiot.

He doesn't even know what to say back, so he just shakes his head again and says, "Well, have fun with that."

Rachel doesn't speak to him for the rest of the day.

…

He turns eighteen the Tuesday before they go to Nationals.

He doesn't get to really have a party or anything because it's the middle of the week, and they're all going to New York that weekend anyway. But his mom gets him a cake and gives him two-hundred bucks, and his sister gives him a $10 iTunes gift card that he's pretty sure she won at her school's spring fling raffle a couple of weeks ago. It's cool, though. She's ten.

His mom hugs him and says, "I'm really proud of you," and he thinks it's pretty cool that she's still proud of him even though he told her he's not going to college. She just accepts him. And maybe even trusts him.

He's really kind of given her too much shit these past few years.

…

New York this year is different than New York last year.

Last year, they were all like running around the city and spending too much time being on vacation and not enough time trying to win a fucking choir competition. This year, though, they're here to win. And they spend pretty much the whole day they arrive in the boys' room practicing their set list (which is the same one they used for Regionals- they sure as hell didn't write it the day of the competition- _learning)._

They all go out to dinner, and Mr. Schue tells them to take a break and have fun for the rest of the night but to be back by ten. That's only like two hours, but oh well, they'll take it. They all go out and mostly split up into their normal groups. Puck ends up with Finn and Rachel and Kurt and Mercedes, and he can tell the whole time they're walking that Rachel's thinking that this is how _all _of next year was supposed to be. It's kind of sad, kind of annoying, and kind of just damn overplayed.

They're only a few blocks from Times Square, so Rachel drags them there to like _no one's _surprise. And then she makes them sit on those red benches or whatever, and she points to all the different lit up signs and tells them what each show's about and a bunch of other stuff that nobody else (well, maybe Kurt) cares about. But then she gets pretty quiet and just leans over to sit with her chin in her hand.

It's weird.

"You okay?" Finn rubs her back, and she nods.

Then she sits up and puts on the fakest damn smile in history and says, "Yeah. Let's go get something to drink."

They end up at this two-story McDonald's that's way too fucking crowded, and Rachel does a good job of pretending that she's not miserable.

…

They come in fourth.

They don't win, but fourth is still good. It's still better than like most teams could even _dream _of doing. So they're happy. Yeah, they'd probably be happier if they got first, but fourth is pretty fucking fantastic.

They celebrate at this really expensive dinner that Mr. Schue says basically blows the rest of their budget, but oh, well. They deserve it. And yeah, this is also probably one of the last few times they're ever all gonna be together like this.

So they need to go out with a bang.

They all eat too much and then go around Times Square together as a whole group just like last year. They have fun and go crazy and joke and laugh, and it's actually not at all terrible. It's actually pretty fucking cool. Mostly because, yeah, he'll admit it, he likes these people now. They're his friends, so it's fun.

It's super late when they get back to the hotel, but he's pretty sure he's the only one who notices the fact that Rachel's got tears in her eyes.

Yeah, maybe they're happy tears. Or you know, she's super emotional and shit, so maybe it's just something to do with them actually not sucking. But they look more sad, and he wants to ask her what's wrong but can't without having every other person in the elevator turn around and stare.

When they get off on their floor, though, he sees Finn grab her hand before she goes into the girls' room. He watches them for a second and then just goes into his own room.

At least Finn notices.

…

He wakes up, and it's pitch black and quiet in the room except for some stupid noise right by his ear. It takes him like ten seconds to realize that stupid noise is Finn whispering.

"Dude, wake up."

Puck opens his eyes and can't see a damn thing because it's so fucking dark. His eyes adjust, though, and he can kind of see Finn there leaning over the bed, and fucking hell, what time is it?

"The fuck is your problem, man?" and it kind of comes out gruffy, but shit, it's the middle of the goddam night, and he's asleep.

"Me and Rachel broke up."

He's so _not _in the mood to deal with this shit right now.

There's like a million people in this room, and all of them are asleep. So Puck gets up and goes out in the hallway with Finn, and it's not til they're like halfway to the stairwell that he realizes the shirt he grabbed to put on isn't even _his. _But shit, at least he's got pants on.

They sit in the stairwell all the way at the end of the hall, and it's creepy as fuck because it's so quiet. He keeps expecting to look up and like see some twins standing at the other end holding hands or something because this shit feels like The Shining.

But seriously. Not the issue here.

It's obvious that Finn's not gonna start the conversation because he's just standing there looking all depressed and kind of like somebody kicked him in the nuts or something. And seriously? Rachel would _totally _do that, so it's not even like it's a stretch. Finally, though, Puck just has to ask him what the hell happened.

"I dumped her."

And really, he didn't expect _that._

Yeah, Rachel's pretty batshit and sometimes Finn gets annoyed, but that dude _loves _her. Like legitimately _loves _her. He never acted like that with any other chick, and it's got to mean something, right? Maybe something like... don't break up with a girl if you love her? Whatever.

"Why in the _fuck _would you do that?"

"Because she wants to stay in Lima, and I can't let her do that!" Finn sounds way defensive, which isn't like surprising or anything, but it still makes this whole conversation like a lot more serious than Puck normally likes.

"You can't tell her what to do."

"She's trying to do that shit for _me. _I'm not okay with that."

Puck gets it. Like completely. But he's still kind of an asshole, so he can't really help twisting the knife just a _little _bit.

"Don't you want her around? I mean, like with you or whatever?"

Finn glares at him like he's just as much of an asshole as he really is. Which... yeah. "Of course I fucking want her around, but she can't stay in _Lima! _She'd like, _suffocate _there or something."

"So you'd rather just dump her and probably make her feel like shit?"

And okay, yeah, he's like partly serious, too. Because what the fuck? He doesn't think Rachel needs to be in Lima, either, but _dumping _her isn't right. She's like super-sensitive and shit. She's probably somewhere crying her eyes out or something, and that shit's not cool. Why would you like _intentionally _make her cry? Asshole.

"I'm trying to make sure she doesn't end up stuck in Ohio when she's obviously supposed to be right here! She's looked miserable and depressed this whole trip."

And that's the truth. Puck's noticed. Probably everybody's noticed. But that doesn't make any of this right. It still seems so _wrong._

But he just nods and tries his best not to be a _total _douchebag.

…

Rachel and Finn don't like _hate _each other.

They don't talk a lot, or don't seem to anyway, but they don't _ignore _each other or like talk shit about each other or anything. Everybody's pretty much shocked, but nobody really brings it up a lot or anything like that. It's just kind of unspoken, but it sucks because Rachel looks like she constantly wants to burst into tears, and Finn just looks depressed all the time.

And okay, here's the thing.

He's kind of been fighting this jealousy thing for awhile, and it's not like he's never thought that it would be cool if Finn and Rachel had some huge fall out and broke up or something. Not that he'd try to get in there or whatever, but it sucks to look at your best friend's girlfriend like that. At least if they broke up, she'd just be his best friend's _ex-_girlfriend.

But this isn't cool.

They're both miserable, and it sucks because it's not even like they _wanted _to break up or whatever. But Finn's right- if they stayed together, there's no way Rachel would move away, not if Finn had to stay. So maybe this really _is _the only way. But it still sucks. Like a lot.

And it's weird because now they can't just all hang out together like they've been doing pretty much all year. Which means he pretty much _never _hangs out with Rachel outside of school, and it's fucked up, but he kind of misses that crazy ass girl. And it sucks because every time he sees her, she just looks _miserable._

He kind of just wants to tease her or make fun of her or just do _something _to make him have some kind of reaction besides the one she's having right now, which is just plain depressing.

…

Prom happens, then finals happen, and then it's like... graduation.

It's nuts. Like for real nuts. It doesn't even feel real, like sitting there with all these people he's known his whole life and listening to all their names being called. But before he knows it, they're at the Ps, and he's back in his seat with a diploma in his hand. And okay, so maybe they already told them they're fake diplomas and that their real ones get mailed out or whatever, but still. It's the _principle _of the whole thing.

He graduated high school.

It's crazy. When they all stand up to like throw their hats or whatever, he realizes that this is for real the _last time _he's gonna see ninety-nine percent of these people. He might see them on Facebook or whatever, but he's never gonna have anymore actual conversations with these people, and he's definitely never going to hang out with them again. So it's weird. And it kind of makes him sad a little bit.

His mom's super proud, and he lets her hug him and take pictures. And then he lets his friends' moms do the same shit because they kind of all seem in shock that their kids actually graduated or something. It feels good, but it feels really fucking weird, too.

He finds most of his friends, but he misses some of them.

Short people are really hard to spot in crowds like this.

…

There's this huge graduation party that Ian McKenzie is throwing, and Puck doesn't even really want to go. But he does anyway because it's the last real party and also because he kind of actually _does _want one more night with these people.

He mostly hangs out with Finn, and they shoot the shit and get drunker than they've been in a really long time. It's fun, and it hits him that they're not gonna be doing this anymore. He doesn't even know when he's gonna _see _Finn again after he leaves. And really, he doesn't plan on sticking around here too much longer at all. So it's crazy. Finn's like his _best friend. _They've been best friends since they were like in little league. It's fucked up to think that he's not just gonna be a few blocks down the road.

Fucked up.

At one point, though, he loses Finn in the crowd, and he ends up heading back to the keg for like the zillionth time and not caring too much about anything except getting his cup filled. He practically runs right over Rachel, like literally. He knocks into her, and she loses her balance and falls against the wall, and shit. She's probably bruised now.

"I didn't know you were here." He's practically got to yell just to hear himself over the noise. He hasn't been to a party this loud and crowded in what seems like forever.

Rachel lets him help her straighten up and then shrugs a little bit. She says something he doesn't hear, and he wonders how drunk she is or if she's even drunk at all. She looks kind of miserable and out of place, so he decides to rescue her.

"Want a drink?" He holds up his cup in demonstration in case she can't hear him or whatever. She just shrugs again, so he takes that as a yes.

He fills his cup and gets her a brand new one because apparently she hasn't started drinking yet. He doesn't even know if she likes beer, and he's pretty sure she doesn't like the Natty Light masquerading as beer in _this _keg, but whatever. Beggars can't be choosers.

They end up in the backyard because the house is so crowded and there's like basically _nowhere _to sit down. So they're outside and kind of leaning against the wall that runs around the pool. He used to clean this pool, but it was just a backup most of the time because his regular clients were mostly all hot older women, not Mary McKenzie who's like three-hundred pounds and bitchy as shit.

Whatever, he doesn't do that crap anymore anyway.

Rachel's way too fucking quiet, and he hates her like that because it's weird as shit and even though she talks way too fucking much on the norm, her quiet is like a sign of the apocalypse or something.

"What's with you?"

"Nothing. Just tired."

It's her go-to excuse, and he's heard it about a hundred million times or something. Doesn't make it any more acceptable. "We _graduated _today. You should be fucking hyped."

Rachel shrugs, and it's kind of a dumb look on her. He almost tells her that, but she starts talking again, so he doesn't. "This isn't what I thought it would feel like."

"Huh?"

"Graduating." She isn't looking at him, which is kind of annoying. She's just looking out in front of her. "I thought it would feel different. I thought I'd be happier."

He really doesn't know why she _wouldn't _be fucking stoked. High school hasn't exactly been _kind_ to her or anything... She should be thrilled to get the hell out of there.

"I thought... I don't know. I just expected to be more excited. Or something."

"You're going to _New York." _He totally ignores the little hurt look that flashes on her face because fuck that. She needs to get over that shit and fast. "And like, you're gonna be a star or something. You should kinda be excited."

"I'm going to _college," _she corrects him, and fuck that, too, because she's going to college to _be _a star. And she knows it. "And it's kind of hard to be excited about something you're dreading."

He would ask her what she's dreading, but he already knows. And really, he doesn't feel like listening to her whine about it. So he just stands there and drains his cup, and she finally actually looks at him.

"How can you even drink that? It's disgusting." And she kind of wrinkles her nose and looks down in her own cup. Fuck, he hates when she's that cute.

"Just because you don't know how to fucking drink." And whatever, it's not even like a whole sentence, but it's enough.

"It smells like someone peed in here."

He laughs because what the hell. Only Rachel would talk about somebody pissing in a cup and compare it to beer. She's an idiot.

So he does the only normal thing- he steals her cup and downs it all in one drink.

"That's ridiculous." Rachel waits til he's finished, and then she's all shaking her head like she's his mom or something. "You're going to make yourself sick."

"Baby, I can handle a few beers, okay? I'm not twelve."

And yeah, he has no idea why he calls her baby, and he hates that he notices the way her eyes kind of hit his and stay there for a few seconds. He's had a lot to fucking drink, and he's probably drunk. Too drunk for this shit anyway.

"You're not twenty-one, either. That's illegal."

She's just fucking around now because he knows for a fact she doesn't give a shit about stuff like underage drinking. Hell, she's done a little bit of it herself. So she's like teasing him or something, and it's cool.

"Call the fucking cops then." And he just looks at her. She's looking back at him, and it's a little bit too serious. Not like serious like she really wants to call the cops or something. But serious like maybe she's thinking too hard or something.

Whatever, he's too drunk for this.

"Were you really going to break up with me?"

And okay, _what? _He's _way _too fucking drunk for this.

"In tenth grade." And she says like he doesn't know when the fuck she's talking about. Like they've dated any other time _besides _tenth grade. And what the hell, dude? That was like a week and forever ago and why the hell is she bringing that shit up now when they've pretty much _never _talked about it once since, you know, _tenth grade._

She's staring at him and obviously expecting some kind of answer, so he just shrugs and says, "Yeah, I guess," and it's not a _total _lie. He didn't have plans to like dump her immediately or whatever, but he sure as hell didn't have plans to date her long-term or anything. He just wanted her long enough to like please his mom and make her shut up for two seconds. Plus, whatever, they didn't even _know _each other then.

Rachel doesn't seem like that answer bothers her. She just kind of nods and says, "Oh." And seriously. What the hell?

"Why'd you ask that?"

She looks at him, and he seriously doesn't know what the fuck's going on inside her crazy head. "I just wanted to know. Seems like a long time ago."

"It _was _a long time ago."

"Yeah."

She gives him some weak ass fake smile and then walks away.

He sees her again before the night's over. He's in the house talking to some dudes he used to kind of hang with, and Rachel's in the living room talking to Finn. Finn who looks totally fucking wasted and has his hands on her hips and his mouth right by her ear. And fuck it.

Puck hooks up with Mandy Mullins in the guest bathroom and totally doesn't think about anything else the whole rest of the night.

…

Finn gets into OSU on late acceptance.

He's still gonna, you know, be in Lima. But he says he might transfer to Columbus or something next year. Plus, he can live at home, so that's cheap. And it's like a real school, too, so that's a plus.

Puck tries to be happy for him, but it's kind of hard because no matter how nice Finn tries to spin it, he's still stuck in Ohio- still stuck in _Lima. _And fuck, even Columbus isn't far enough away. Not even by a long-shot. But he doesn't say any of that shit. He just tells Finn it's cool and he'll have fun or whatever, even though he's about 99 percent sure that college _isn't _fun and that the only fun parts about college aren't things that really happen while you're living at home with your parents.

He asks him if Rachel's trying to put in a last minute application, too, and Finn kind of gives him a WTF look.

"Just figured she would."

"She's going to New York."

"You back together?"

"What?" Finn shakes his head and looks at him like he's stupid. "No, man."

Whatever.

…

It's the end of June, and he's still at home.

Every single day he spends in that town feels like another year added to a prison sentence or something. It's fucking ridiculous. He could just get up and go, but he doesn't because it just doesn't feel right yet. He doesn't know what he's waiting for or even if he's waiting for like _anything. _But he just keeps putting it off.

A few people are already gone, but most of his friends are still at home at least for another month or whatever. He's not really hanging out with them much, though- he's mostly just hanging out at home with his sister and his mom whenever she's off work. He really starts thinking about shit, too- like who's gonna watch his sister now and stuff when his mom's not there. Babysitters are fucking expensive. Or like who's gonna make sure that there's food and shit in the house when his mom's too busy to shop? Just stuff like that. He's a fuck up, yeah, but he's also kind of a big part of his household and his family.

But his mom's never tried to make him stay or make him feel guilty about leaving.

That sort of bothers him, and it shouldn't.

…

Rachel posts some really depressing shit on Facebook one day, and he's legitimately worried for a few minutes until he realizes they're just song lyrics.

And whatever. Why the hell she's listening to music that basically encourages wrist-slitting, he doesn't know. He wants to comment and ask her why she's suddenly so emo, but that would require typing, and he doesn't feel like it right now.

Instead, he texts her and tells her to stop being such a drama queen.

She calls him like three minutes later, and she's totally crying. _Fuck._

…

She ends up at his house and stays for like four hours.

She cries off and on the whole time, and he wants to tell her to shut up, but he doesn't because that would just make her even worse. So instead, he just sits there and lets her cry and then lets her talk about how scared she is about college and about how she's afraid everyone's going to hate her and how she's gonna be all alone and blah, blah, blah.

"Just don't be fucking crazy, and you'll get plenty of new friends."

It's sort of a compliment, but she just hones in on the crazy part, and she glares at him like he just insulted her favorite Broadway show or something. Whatever, though, it's the truth. People would like her a hell of a lot more if she just toned it down a notch or two. She doesn't have to, like, change who she is or anything, but she could chill out a little bit and not be so psychotic. That kind of shit is an acquired taste, and there ain't a whole lot of people willing to take the time to acquire it.

He would know- it fucking took _him _long enough.

"I've always wanted New York. That's all I've _ever _wanted." She's all quiet now and almost mumbling. It's not even an answer to him calling her crazy, it's more like an excuse or something.

"So go get it."

"What do _you _want?"

"Music." He doesn't say anything else- that's enough.

Rachel just nods. In some fucked up way, he thinks she gets that.

…

He sells his truck the third week of July and puts the cash in the bank.

Between that, his graduation money, and whatever money he's been able to save up between pool cleaning and Sheets 'N Things and birthdays, he's got about $5,000. It's not a lot, but it sounds like a fucking _shit ton. _He knows it's not, though. Not when he's supposed to, you know, go make a new _life _somewhere.

Rachel's kind of the only person he's been talking to lately, so he tells her how much he has, and she acts like it's a lot, too, even though he knows she's probably got like four times that in savings plus a cushy little college fund that her parents probably started when she was like six months old or something. But still, it's a lot to him, and he's kind of proud of it. He's never been the best saver, so getting that much together is a pretty big accomplishment for him.

Now he just has to figure out what to do with it.

…

August happens, and it's like a total slap in the face because it's fucking _August._

He was supposed to be the hell out of this place in June, and it's like two months later and he's still there. It totally blows.

Finn calls him and asks him if he wants to play some video games or something. They haven't really hung out a lot or anything this summer because Puck's been watching his sister a lot, and Finn's been helping Burt in the garage. But summer's almost over, and they should at least get in a little bro time before they like never see each other again.

They're blowing shit up in Finn's living room, and neither one of them is really paying much attention to anything else. Or at least Puck's not. Finn might be, though, because he just out of nowhere says, "You talked to Rachel lately?"

And okay. Yeah. He has. She apparently thinks he's her new BFF or something because she calls him a lot and texts him like every day. Usually it's just about stupid shit, but sometimes she talks about packing or is like freaking out because she just got her roommate assignment and can't figure out how to pronounce the chick's name. He's not really sure _why _they talk like that now, and he blocks out a fucking ton of what she says, but it's cool. Kind of. She's kind of cool.

So he tells Finn, "Yeah, sometimes," and Finn just nods. 

They blow up a lot more stuff, and then Finn's like, "Is she ready for New York?"

Puck wants to say _dude, ask her yourself, _but there's a huge part of him that like doesn't want to say that at all because he really doesn't want Finn talking to Rachel period. It's totally fucked, he knows, but who cares? It's the truth. Rachel finally seems kind of over it for the most part, so Finn doesn't need to go in there stirring that shit up again.

Plus, he just doesn't want them talking.

He doesn't even try to think about what that means.

…

He finally buys his plane ticket.

He takes like three hours looking at flights and prices and shit, and then he finally purchases one. It's seriously the most grown up he's ever felt in his life. It's kind of fucking scary.

He goes over to Rachel's house because she told him she wanted him to help her with some last minute mixing in case she needs a demo or something while she's in school. He thinks it's funny, but he's also really freaking glad that she finally seems excited about school and back to normal. She's talking about New York a lot more like it's a place she _wants _to go and not like some place she _has _to go. She's got all this confidence again, and she keeps talking about how she's gonna blow all her professors away and shit.

And honestly? She probably will.

Her room looks weird as shit, half of it's packed up and the other half is basically all over the floor in the biggest fucking mess he's ever seen. It's definitely nothing like the neat OCD cesspool that her room normally is. It's crazy.

"Sorry about the mess." Like he gives a fuck about the mess- he just thinks it's weird. "I'm almost packed."

He doesn't know how big she thinks NYU dorm rooms are, but he's guessing they're not nearly big enough for the stack of boxes and suitcases she's got piled up by her closet. He has a feeling her dads are gonna be bringing half this shit right back home with them.

They go downstairs after that, and he helps her mix some old vocals she did back last fall. She sounds pretty good, even though it's just reusing old shit and putting a new twist on it. He tries to imagine if he like heard her on the radio or something. Would he think she's good? Well, obviously she's fucking _amazing, _but he doesn't really know what his reaction would be if he didn't know her. She doesn't really do his kind of music.

When she _does, _though, it's basically the best thing ever.

They finish up and just hang out on the basement sofa for a little while. She's humming some shit and going through her demo index, and he's just fucking around on some chords.

"This is probably the last time we'll get to do this for awhile." Rachel gives him a kind of sad little smile when he looks over at her.

He just shrugs one shoulder. "Maybe."

She looks at him. He doesn't really look back, but he pulls a folded up paper out of his guitar case and hands it do her. Then he goes right back to fucking around on his guitar. Rachel looks at it, and he knows right when she comprehends it because she gets that stupid little excited look on her face, and he can see it right out the corner of his eye.

"When did you decide this?" And she's all crazy bouncy excited. Fuck, girl, calm your ass.

"Just kinda happened."

And that's not a lie.

He was seriously just looking at flights and playing around. And New York airfare was cheaper and shorter, and hell, it's not _that _far from home, either. So if his sister or mom like really needs him or something, he could make it happen a hell of a lot more easily than if he's all the way across the fucking country.

"Still feel like company?"

Rachel looks so happy that it almost freaks him out a little bit. But yeah, it _is_ kind of exciting... It's _New York._

And no, he's not going for Rachel. Hell, he may never see Rachel once they're there. But he wouldn't mind it. You know, like having a friend. He wants to meet new people and doesn't want to be one of those dudes who only interacts with high school people for the rest of his life, but like _one _friend can't really hurt. Plus, it's_ New York._

It's like LA, except you can be rude as shit and don't have to like conform to veganism or something. At least he doesn't think so. Whatever, he likes meat, okay?

"It's going to be so much fun!" And Rachel's all hyper blabbing away about all the shit they can do while they're there and how she can't wait and all this other stuff. He's only half-listening.

New York. He can do that.

It's sure the fuck not Lima.

Plus, it might be kind of awesome to watch Rachel take over that shit.

…

…

…

A/N: Sorry! My Internet connection went out and just came back. I meant to have this posted over the weekend, but it didn't happen.

Now. I know this did not end up super-shippy or romantic or anything really. But there's no fucking way Puck and Rachel are ever getting back together in the realm of high school. I do think they could have a kick ass friendship, though.

And maybe this has a sequel...


End file.
